Just another day in Labor and Delivery

Just like any other job we have busy days and slow days. Today was particularly slow, no one in labor, just 2 c-sections (scheduled) and a few pre-term patients. I am not writing this to tell you all about work, I am writing this for women, all women everywhere, who might possibly give birth sometime in their lives. This is a little graphic, so if you can handle that, GREAT, if not, STOP READING NOW. Ok so now that is said. I had this terrific patient that was very sweet, having her first baby today. Things were fine, until we actually got into the OR. This is about pubic hair, so if you don’t want to know, THIS IS YOUR LAST CHANCE TO CLOSE THIS WINDOW BEFORE GETTING GROSSED OUT!!!! Ok so basically she (and many other patients I have had in the past) had really long pubic hair, in my opinion this is totally disgusting. We groom ourselves everywhere  else, why not there? (some of you do I am sure, here is my applause, and OB nurses everywhere appreciate it, trust me) So basically I needed a machete and a native guide to try and put her foley catheter in. This does not make for a good time when you have a slow anesthesiologist and two impatient OB/GYNS that have to get to the office. I know there are plenty of women who don’t need a foley catheter when they deliver a baby, but about 95% will get one at some point. But it doesn’t end there, oh no. So when the baby comes out (either the old fashioned way, or by c-section) it’s messy. Very Messy. Always. You can’t escape, there is no such thing as a “clean” birth. For those of you who have not had children and want to, please warn your spouse, they will see and smell things they NEVER thought they would. Birth, although amazing is very messy. Some of the things involved are (and not limited to) Amniotic fluid, blood, poop, blood, vernix, blood, placenta, blood, other “tissue” and did I mention blood? Ok so you have all the stuff down in and on your Ho-Ha, the only hair does is help it make a nest, you know so it can hang out for a while. Now I am not advocating that every woman go out and shave her Lady bits, I understand that this makes some women uncomfortable. But I am asking, pleading and begging on the part of every Labor and Delivery nurse, every Postpartum nurse, Every OB/GYN and their staff nurses, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE, do some grooming. It’s next to impossible to clean some of that stuff outta there with a huge pile of hair in the way. And whenever you read those Q&A sections in health magazines and women ask if their OB cares if they don’t shave. The real truth? Yes they care. It’s true they see it all day every day, but most OB docs don’t keep a machete and native guide handy in the breakroom, so make their job just a teensy bit easier, they get called after midnight on a daily basis because Sally Jo peed her pants and thinks her water broke. Being an OB is tough, being an L&D nurse is tough, so please take 2 minutes out of your morning and tidy things up, it won’t go unnoticed, or unappreciated. Thanks in advance

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