Back to work in a month
It still seems so close, but still so far away. I haven’t been *unemployed* this longs since before I was ever employed. I am not technically unemployed, but I haven’t worked (at my job…) since January 20th. Seems like I have been gone FOREVER! I miss my job as a nurse, but my job as a mom keeps me very busy as well. In fact I think more busy most days. My son and I are usually busy doing something, and Audrey always comes along for the ride.
I have found that I feel like since I have been home I feel like I need to justify everything I do. It’s a weird feeling, not that I am doing anything wrong, or shirking on any of my responsibilities, but when I am home full-time I feel like my time isn’t as valuable I guess. I know that it is, but being home as a mom is very under appreciated I think. I wonder if most mom’s who stay home feel that way. I know that my kids love it when I am home, and I enjoy being home with them, I also like being a homemaker (you know the cooking cleaning part of things) it’s fun, but it really doesn’t come with a lot of excitement.
When I spend a day at work I get to talk about all the great stuff I do for other people. I delivered twins, I assisted in surgery, I helped with a shoulder distocia, etc etc, ad nauseum. This is all a far more exciting answer to the question, “What did you do today?” My typical answer lately is, “umm well I wiped the counters and went to the grocery store.” Far less exciting then my typical day, but also usually a lot more difficult. (YOU try taking 2 kids to the grocery store and keep them happy!) I wonder if I feel like this because I am so used to working, or maybe my other SAHM friends feel the same way (Feel free to chime in ladies). Motherhood is very under appreciated.
On to a more upbeat note… Things are still going great between my two kiddos. Aiden is still in love with Audrey, and she is actually starting to show signs that she loves him just as much. She loves watching him jump and dance around, and she loves when he comes and lays next to her under her play mat. She has also turned into a bit of a “binky baby.” Aiden completely refused a pacifier as a baby, but Audrey loves it. She doesn’t have it in her mouth all the time, but maybe a couple hours a day. I am hoping maybe it’ll aid in the not-chewing toys-until-you’re-three phase that Aiden seems to be on. We’ll see I guess. Otherwise Audrey is growing like a weed, it’s amazing how many things she has outgrown already! Aiden was smaller for longer it seems, but I am glad to know she is healthy. And she sleeps great! I can honestly say I get as much (or maybe more) sleep now then I did when I was pregnant. Definitely not the same case with Aiden. Although he was a great sleeper, not nearly as great as Audrey. Lucky me!
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Audrey and I have been home for 3 weeks now, and I have yet to elaborate on what my life is like now, being the momma of 2. People are constantly asking, “how’s Aiden?” and to answer that honestly, amazing. Much better then I was anticipating. Expecting the worst and hoping for the best is something I think helps me to get over things not going as planned. But when it came to Aiden meeting his new baby sister I have no complaints. His first reaction was a bit of surprise I think. For about 8 months we had been talking to him (preparing him) about the baby in mommy’s tummy. At about 7 months pregnant when my belly was starting to grow faster he would pull up my shirt and talk to “Baby Audrey” saying, “Baby come out!.” So when she finally did after 2 months of asking I think he was very surprised!
He crawled into bed with me and Audrey and asked if he could kiss her, and I told him that he could and then he looked at her and said “I love you baby Audrey” it was so sweet, completely unprompted, except for the fact that during my pregnancy I would tell him that I love baby Audrey just like I loved Aiden. Also it’s important for you to know that I love you’s don’t come regularly from Aiden, for weeks I was the only person he would say it too, and finally he would say I love you to Brandon and that was it! So it was pretty sweet that he said it to his baby sister upon their first meeting. He later tried to share his grapes with her (see photo).
Once we brought her home he seemed totally in love with her, curious nd protective at the same time, always wanting to kiss her head, or cheek, or rub her hair. We allow him to touch her as much as he wants, provided he is gentle, and 99% of the time he is, I don’t think he has any ill intentions when it comes to his sister. The first 2 weeks I would have said he didn’t seem to have any jealousy either. A few times this week he has been wanting her things, like when she is laying with a blanket, he wants that blanket, but he usually likes to lay with her and they can share a blanket which is sweet. He has never tried to be rough, and he is always concerned for her well-being if he should hear her cry. So all in all the transition has been extremely smooth. If Aiden is even half the big brother my brother David was then Audrey is a VERY lucky girl!
As for me, I could not have asked for an easier labor & Delivery. Mind you, I could have asked for an easier pregnancy (puking at 8 months pregnant and kidney stones, yuck!) But my delivery was a cinch! I delivered Audrey at Santa Monica, UCLA which is where I work. Nothing like being surrounded by knowledgeable nurses who know and care about you! People have constantly asked me if I thought it would be weird to have my co-workers see me have a baby. I really don’t care, in our line of work it’s pretty much “seen one, seen ‘em all” (with very few exceptions!) I felt very blessed to be in a place I was familiar and comfortable with while welcoming my daughter into the world! Because my delivery was easy, my recovery was easy (and it helped that I didn’t have class 3 days after giving birth). Brandon’s mom, Judy, arrived the evening I delivered Audrey so she was there to help with Aiden which was such a blessing and a HUGE relief. I was getting sick over wondering what was going to happen to Aiden when I was in the hospital. Having Judy here made that much easier! She was also able to stay for a few days to spend time with our family ad get to know her grandchildren. Aiden loved the extra attention, and I think he needed it with the stress of a new baby. Brandon was also able to stay home for 2 weeks which was great. I mis him now that he is back at work. *sniff sniff*
Today is the end of my first week doing everything on my own. I thought that having 2 kids would be quadruple the work, but I have discovered that it’s not. Aiden has been wonderful and Audrey is an easy happy baby (who lets me sleep a lot at night!) I have been able to take them both shopping on several occasions, and we go to the park and for walks, and stick around the house. It’s not nearly as difficult or overwhelming as I had anticipated. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not a total walk in the park, but on the difficult scale of 0-10 (I was anticipating an 11) it’s about a 6 or 7. Aiden alone is a 6, so that tells you how easy Audrey is.
Overall it’s been a smooth transition and an easy recovery. I am looking forward to going back to work mid June. We have a great nanny that is going to be moving in with us in 4 weeks so we’re excited about that as well!
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